Saturday, 29 October 2011

Where to go in a zombie outbreak

We all know that one day a man named 'Keith' will become a scientist, and Keith the scientist will think "hey, what if I feed my wife the mutated remains of dead people" and voila! You get zombies. And When the undead hordes come for you and your succulent brains you need to know where to go.

Where you'll want to go:

1. The House Of Knives: this place is second only to 'crazy Ed's house of blunt weapons with nails in 'em' in zombie massacring weapons. Knives cut flesh. Zombies are made of flesh. Knives cut zombies. Done and done.

2. Electronics shop: the defense is simple; electricity make zombie go bye-bye and you can become the god of thunder, Zeus. The only downside I could see here would be seeing one of the televisions showing Nicholas cage's 'acting' and you would, of course, shoot the television instead of the zombies becaus end Nick Cage showing off his whopping two emotions

3. Victoria's secret: you last moments should be happy.

4. In 1930 right next to Hitler. Trip the bastard, trip him.

5. Inside the movie zombieland: first off, it's an entire civilization of survivors and secondly (and more importantly) you could get Jesse eisenberg's autograph before he did the social network, getting you enough money to hire...

6,7,8,9,10 etc. Anywhere as long as you have Chuck Norris as your bodyguard: If I need to explain this one to you, I will push you into the zombie horde you uncultured zombie bait.

*Honorable mention*
crazy Ed's bling weapons with nails in 'em: this didn't make the list because Ed would most likely shoot you instead of the zombies. Silly Ed, he's not a zombie

Well, I'll be at Victoria's secret for... Protection